Proverbs are popularly defined as short expressions of popular wisdom. Most of us have heard some of those old expressions, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink” and “God helps those who help themselves” or “You make your bed, so you must lie in it” and “Actions speak louder than words”. These all come to mind in my state of unrest and inability to help a friend I have recently re-connected with.
Have you ever been in a position where you tried to guide someone and no matter what guidance or advice you gave, they just wouldn’t move forward? It is as if they can’t even be present enough to hear the message you are delivering. If you are a parent of a spouse you have likely had this experience several dozen times. Those of us who are healers often get caught between two realities and it can be a very uncomfortable place to live.
There have been so many times when I have been guided to say, “If you don’t follow through with this clearing work you will be forced by universal law to deal with it, and it won’t be a gentle experience.” I don’t want to freak people out and make them feel as though they don’t have choice so I lighten it a bit where possible by telling them a story of the collapse of my world when I didn’t pay attention. Then I might paraphrase it to something like, “There are some very challenging situations coming up for you, a clearing would really serve you best to assist in the process, and sooner than later is advised.” Or, “Please consider doing a clearing for your child, I feel they may do something self-destructive soon.”
As frustrating as it can be at times, I learned a very important lesson from my teacher Hanna Kroeger. She said that if you just meet someone, a new acquaintance, you may share your advice, insight or information with them once, if they are family or a loved one you can mention it three times, after that say nothing. They won’t follow through or even hear you and you spend all your energy falling on deaf ears. It can be so very hard for me to stand back and watch someone I care about “go down the garden path.”
It seems that some things must be experienced, no matter how difficult it may be for the rest of us to watch while sitting on the sidelines. Sometimes I want to take people buy the shoulders and shake them until they get it! I keep thinking it must feel this way for parents who are trying to assist their children to make the best choices for their futures.
This is where it all gets sticky and interesting…everyone has a Divine Plan, lessons they chose to learn through experiences, they may have even per-destined some; the worst thing is often we are not privileged to know what that plan is. Tough for us nosy types! Perhaps if we did know it would in some way upset the balance of the outcome. It is torture for those of us who only want love, and good things for those we care about in our lives. It can be an even bigger challenge if we need to release a friendship or relationship if the person doesn’t come around. In my life I have had to do this on several occasions. The strange thing is that once I released them, they shifted…which begs the question; “Was I part of the Divine plan to assist them in moving forward?” Perhaps I was, just not in the way I believed it should be.
When it comes to guidance we all need to practice patience and love to the tenth degree. Sometimes simply holding the energy for the other to move forward is all it takes, sometimes a gentle kick in the ass is more appropriate, and other times saying nothing is the best choice.
All I know is that for me, it sucks when I can see what’s coming and try to guide someone and they DON”T FOLLOW THROUGH! It is painful to watch when suddenly someone’s world is in turmoil and crashing down around them. Part of me wants to hold them and love them and the ego part of me wants to say “I told you so!”
So what do I do after many, many years of this practice? I suck it up and realize that it’s their process and they have to do what they have to do. Hmmm…what do you say to great advice that wasn’t followed and then pain and heart break proceed? A simple shrug of the shoulders, a loving embrace and, all I can say is, “Well we knew a session was needed” Fingers crossed they come and do some healing/clearing work before all hell breaks loose again.
In 2012, a special energy will be provided to allow the healing of old wounds. It is a ray of Forgiveness gifted to humanity so we can move forward. Our job is to receive the healing by accepting forgiveness for our past errors. We must allow Love to permeate the old structures we have built around us. So for all of us who experience bringing a horse to water and it not drinking, let it go, do what you can and forgive yourself for not doing more; because very simply put, you couldn’t have.
Stay willing to provide guidance and when it is not accepted or followed up on, become a committed spiritual warrior and focus on your own divine process, this will in turn support those around you. Remember, “God helps those who help themselves.”
Blessings of much Love and Light,
Rev. Carol Lefevre